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GIVE US A BREAK, LUOS ARE NOT FULL OF THEMSELVES

 "Luos are too proud", people say, "They're so full of themselves". Unlike those who propagate this stereotype, I have the benefit of being a Luo and I'm not full of myself. I know that this doesn't prove anything but I'm only trying to show how silly it is to imagine that all Luos are the same. Most Luos would admit that they are almost ashamed to be Luos.  Let me explain; Luos are associated with so many negative stereotypes that some of them go to the extent of trying to hide or camoflage their ethnic identities. They take English names, drive German cars, drink Italian whiskeys and marry Kikuyu women. As if that wast enough, they detest their homeland to the point of slowly turning it into an empty wasteland. Any Luo worth his weight in gold will never build a decent house at his "ancestral home". What for? For bats to live in? To create an impression of wealth and attract the envy of the village folks? No. A Luo would buy land somewhere in the 'diaspora', build a "modest" three storey house and live there away from his kin. 

Barack Obama - Wikipedia 

Barack Obama: He is of Luo descent. (Source:Wikipedia)

Only until his death will they transport his carcass back "home" to Nyanza and hold a party that would put the National Committee for Holiday Celebrations to shame, and then pour praise on the corpse, accuse his neighbors of witchcraft and retreat back to the safety of their luxurious homes in the diaspora. Where is pride in all that? I have lived for more than 30 years and not once have I heard a Luo man say he's proud to be himself. Even a drank one boasts in English and says "Hakuna!" an awful lot of times to the irk of the envious neighbors, who more often than not happen to be poorer than himself. They don't speak Dholuo until or unless you've made them very angry.... and you'll agree that it's hard to express anger in a foreign language, isn't it?

You may be excused to say that Luos tend to show off a little more than the average Kenyan, but to say that they are too proud is to take the joke a little too far. Proud to be what, or of what? We all know that everyone shows off. It's not only for Luos. Luos did not invent the word, and for heaven's sake you have to admit they did not invent the habit. But then again, if you drive a Benz, live in Kileleshwa and have a Doctorate degree in anatomy or molecular biology, you drink Italian whiskey and is married to light-skinned lass why wouldn't you want to show off a little? Just a little bit. People have no problems when Kalenjins over-celebrate winning a simple 22 kilometer race, but when a successful Luo who has worked his a** off for 10 years in the research lab inventing cures for diseases with unpronounceable names people point fingers.

The first black President of the United States of America happens to have some Luo blood in his veins and that alone made many Kenyans green with envy. Some said he doesn't look like a Luo or speak like one. Get over it people! Let luos celebrate in peace as you wait for your turn. Who knows, the first black bank robber in Switzerland may turn out to be a Kikuyu - it takes time, you know. The first black witch doctor in Russia may turn out to be of  Kamba descent. But it takes time. Some patience, dear Kambas..

All jokes aside, Luo people are the humblest you will ever meet. They make loyal and faithful employees and personal pride is the furthest thing from their hearts. Luo norms and culture is is irreconcilably opposed to pride and arrogance, and for anybody to accuse them of the very thing they abhor is to be provocative, ill-mannered and uncouth. So the next time you hear anybody anywhere at any time say that Luos are full of themselves ask, him one question and one question only, "What are you high on, bit**?"

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