If you have been in a relationship then you’ll know that they’re
particularly difficult to maintain, especially in the current day and age where so many things compete for our attention. Men usually show a lot of
commitment, attention and loyalty when they’re in the chase a woman only to be
lethargic and carefree after they get the woman (and this drive women nuts). It makes sense though, because people don't normally chase what they've already caught.
Women like to imagine that they live in this parallel fantasy universe where everything is about them. Anything that shatters this concocted dream and brings the grim reality of life to their doors, is what water is to fire. No one likes to imagine that they have dropped a few places down someone's priority list. Yet it inevitably happens due to the pressures of life, and men's apparent inability to juggle many balls (pun not intended) without occasionally dropping one or two. Ouch!
No one is perfect. Rather, nothing is perfect: Even
in fairly stable relationships, rare as they may be, men by their nature, tend to show some habits
that women find grossly irritating. I have attempted to list some of them below below.
Not doing the things you used to do
This is very concerning for a lady for she will conclude
that you are doing these things for someone else. She will immediately imagine that she's been replaced. I wonder where this replacement theory emanates from. She will not ask you - women are poor at asking questions - but she
will start snooping around searching for evidence of infidelity or unfaithfulness.
If you used to call her twice or three times a day, just keep it going even if
you don’t feel like it. Take it like a chore, a job or a divine assignment. You don't have to enjoy it, just do it like Nike says.
Not delivering on Your Promises
Most people would find this annoying but women take it a few decibels higher. She wont want to know why. And why should she? Every time you make a promise you can't keep it's all your fault. Even the good book says that it is better not to vow at all than having made a vow to default on it. So if you make this mistake, you're really on your own. Keep the reasons, excuses and apologies to yourself. No one wants to hear them.
Take calling for example. Women can’t
understand how you could forget to simply call someone you profess to love. However busy you may be, sparing about a minute and a half just to call and say you’re thinking
about her will suffice (even if you aren't really thinking about her). If you’re too busy for a long conversation then texting is an excellent option. Trust you
me, that alone will make her day (or night). Just make sure your call isn't shorter than a minute and half, seriously.
Forgetting her birthday and other important dates
This is a relationship red flag for women. Her birthday ranks high on her list of favourite days, along with the day she got her first job and the day she made her first million. Whatever you may think of your own birthday - how trivial and unimportant it is - hers is special, don't ruin it for her. Her girlfriends will be all excited (like monkeys in pinata) waiting to see what you do for her on that day. It is the day you are required (by law) to show with real action all the talk of how important she is to you, how much you love her, and all those silly things you said while you were chasing her (which you didn't have to say anyway).
Talk is cheap. Show it by action. And what a better day than on the day she was born. Don't get me wrong - although I'm sure you already have - but you don't have to break the bank for her. She knows you're struggling (with your alcohol addiction, HELB loan and other bills and debts) so you don't have to break the bank! Well, maybe you can break the piggy-bank. But some may not even expect an expensive gift or treat.
Remember women have a completely different yardstick. Forgetting someone's birthday may look small to you but not to her. For women, no mistake is too small. She will readily forgive you for not paying the house rent but when it comes to birthdays and anniversaries, boy, don't even dare. Sometimes just taking her out for pizza and buying her that piece
of jewelry she has been nagging you about will suffice, but whatever you do, do not feign amnesia.
Unfavorably comparing her to other people
If your mother is a better cook than her, she doesn’t need to know it. If your colleague at work dresses better than her keep it to yourself. Once you start comparing your lady to any other woman she will be insecure and will think that you like those other people more than you like her and her feelings for you will drop bellow the sea level. So, keep your comparisons to the bar booth.
She puts up with your potbelly, foul breath and snoring. The least you can do is not to compare her with that super model you bumped upon on the internet. If you want to compare her to anyone let it be clear that she's way, way better than that - excuse the expression - 'daughter of a whore'. Tell her how her meals excite your taste buds.
Not listening to her
Women talk an awful lot. This is well documented. They think that all of the world's problems including climate change, hunger and famine in the horn of Africa region, Covid-19 pandemic and the war in the Middle East can all be solved by talking. And when your lady is talking what she wants is attention. That's isn't too much to give, is it? She isn’t starting an argument so don’t even think of preparing a counter-argument. And please don't give your opinion if she hasn't asked for it. Put the phone down for a moment. If it is the phone that excites you, then you should have married the phone instead of her. Look her in the eye while she’s talking to you. It won't be too long. You nod, laugh, hum and smile (like a penguin) if you want the ordeal to end quickly. Pretend you enjoy her endless chatter about her colleague at work, her nagging boss, her high school friend who is into her fifth marriage.. Just pretend you enjoy that stuff. Will you do that for me, please?
Ignoring her
Whats-app was developed to break relationships. It is that simple. I cant fathom any ways in which whasapp has improved our lives. But this article wasn't meant to discuss this, so let's get right into our thing. If she sends you a message on whats-app and you don’t reply promptly yet you are online, she will be seething with rage. She can't get her head around it. How could you? Worse still, is if you've read the message and failed to respond, that's a capital crime!
You’re probably chatting
with someone else, or busy with something. If that's the case then why did you open her messages? Why? Tell me why! If you do not intend to
reply immediately to her messages, do not open them for heaven's sake. Well, it's for your own sake really. If you're caught up in this, make sure you apologize (with a bunch of flowers, a piece of chocolate and jewelry) and explain with the aid of charts and diagrams, how you forgot to reply. Then promise not to do the same thing again. You could thereafter choose to ignore her so many times over until she gets used to it or be vigilant never to ignore her again. The choice is yours.
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